Original Poem Title: “Patched Up”

Poetry About Coming Up Empty-Handed

“They say if you write in a journal, you can be more in touch with yourself. I really don’t wanna be.”

This afternoon
at the pier
I had my choice of vice in one hand
and nothing in the other.

I left my feet dangling in the water
airing out my mental laundry
They say if you write in a journal
you can be more in touch with yourself
and to be honest,
I really don’t wanna be.

I’m scared of what I’ll find.

I’ve been putting my fire out there
and all I ever really feel is put out.
Since then, I run around with an icy heart
and winter’s the only thing that feels chilly to me.

I guess I’m just angry at myself
for slipping up again
tripping up again
fucking up again
again and again.

Like I don’t already know my lesson
before I even care to stop myself
my vice has fallen into the water
and once again I am empty-handed
very much so

very, very much so.

Originally published at https://vocal.media.